The Wellness Warrior Blog#beabetteryou
Honestly, I was avoiding what anyone had to say because I didn’t want to hear it; and subconsciously, I was blaming my reactions on their words…which is a fricken cop out. I am a grown woman. At some point the competition, the reactions, the power of others needs to stop.
Listen, I get it. It feels good to help. It feels good to be needed. However, when we solve every problem for our client, we are meeting OUR needs, not theirs. The client may be grateful and express themselves as such, but who did we actually help? Who’s needs were fulfilled?
The irony is that the majority of things worried about fail to come to fruition. People who have never experienced excessive worrying will often tell us to just stop thinking about it. And therein lies the problem, we simply cannot. The more we try to not think about something, the harder it works to stay up front and personal in our thoughts.
The grown up me looks back and recognizes my delinquent behavior for what it was…anxiety and depression. I was begging for attention, regardless of positive or negative. My interactions with adults were minimal, as my dad worked nights and I didn’t live with my mom. My teachers saw very little of me, as I only attended school sporadically. When I was there, I was apathetic and/or disrespectful.
Discipline begins in your thoughts. If you cannot control your thinking, you will inevitably reverse back to the previous mentioned cycle. And that cycle leads to a lack of motivation for anything positive. Dig deep and find your “why.” Why do you want to be healthier? What are your reasons?
It isn’t a secret that my mom and I had an adversarial relationship, but she was my mom. She gave birth to me. She fought her demons, but don’t we all? I wasn’t sure what to expect when I arrived, but for hours, my aunt, uncle and cousin and I sat around and told silly stories, which I am sure my mom listened to. While it was a shitty time to visit, we actually had a few laughs.
In the state of Nebraska, suicide is the 7th leading cause of death for ages 55-64 and the 18th leading cause of death for those over 65 (Suicide Facts and Figures, Nebraska 2020). Additionally, Census.gov reports that 14% of Nebraska residents are seniors and 30% of them are living alone. That leaves a high percentage of that 70% residing in long term care or assisted living facilities. And due to Covid 19, the majority of those facilities are on lockdown.
And as their parent, I want to protect their innocence. I want to shield them from the ugliness of our world, however that may look. But, as their mom, my job isn’t to do that. It is to equip them and empower them so they can handle whatever comes their way. God help me in doing that. There is a reason they say it takes a village…
The best unsolicited advice I can give anyone reading this is the following. “be gentle with yourself”. Grief can come in like a fricken hurricane, go into a wave pool and return to a level five storm before we even know what we are dealing with.
I truly believe that many of us are doing the best we can and by tearing others down, we are also revealing the deepest and darkest parts of ourselves that we keep hidden. Being an asshole does nothing but let other’s know we are focused on the wrong parts of ourselves.
I see sagging and dimpled skin and I wonder when those bags underneath my eyes became permanent. WTF, right? When did my boobs decide to move south and not send a forwarding address? And the hormone changes? I don’t’ care who you are, that added fluff to the middle is NOT welcome.
Girls versus Women Do you remember when you were a little girl and you wanted to be friends with everyone? And I do mean EVERYONE. Furthermore, it didn't matter what they wore, where they were from or what they looked like. When we were little, we didn't...
We proudly brought our family tree home last week and we just haven’t found the time to decorate it. The kids have activities, dad has been ill, and honestly, mom hasn’t been in the spirit.
Look, I get it. Parenting is hard. As moms, we are expected to put aside our own needs to meet the continual needs of others. I have always said that becoming a parent is putting your needs aside for your child’s wants. Truthfully, that is sometimes easier said than done. And let’s face it, each child is different and each child has good days and bad days just as we do.
Perhaps, as parents, we allow our children to choose how they want to greet others. This doesn’t allow them to be disrespectful, rather, it empowers them to make choices, based upon their relationship with the person. Doing so provides them with the ability to create boundaries in addition to being empowered to redirect others when they fail to adhere to said boundaries.
The real danger isn’t in the physical threat. The real danger is in the person we cannot see. It is in the person who has unlimited access to our children without our knowledge. People all over the world have access to our children and often, we as the parents are the ones allowing the direct assess.
I understand is something we say when we don’t know what else to say. It is something to fill in the uncomfortable silence when we get too close to someone else’s tragic circumstances. Too often, we say “I understand” when we have similar experiences and want to let other’s know they aren’t alone.
Right now you are wondering if I am fuckin crazy and that’s ok, sometimes I wonder that myself. What I am trying to say is that at some point in our lives we have done too much. We have committed to too many things. At some point in our lives (or maybe multiple times) we have put our needs behind every other person we know. And we are fricken exhausted.