Weight Loss Warrior

Weight Loss Warrior

by | Nov 29, 2016 | mom, motivation, self-care, Wellness

Sometimes you meet someone and you know they were put in your life for a reason.  I remember when I first met Alicia Fechtmeister; we were both standing outside Armbrust YMCA and I commented on how amazing she looked.  I had seen her around the Y and noticed she was working hard and her weight loss was showing dramatically in the shape of her face and the confidence she now bestowed.

I have watched this woman continue her weight loss journey for the past two years and she continues to be inspiring to those around her.  She supports her counterparts and she has become a contestant in early morning spin classes.

Today I talked with her about her wellness journey and what prompted her to change her lifestyle.  Alicia and Bob both graduated from Lincoln and began the American Dream.   With a business and five children ranging in ages from 5 – 16, they are incredibly busy.  While Bob is a runner, Alicia really didn’t participate in any wellness activities as she was focused mainly on keeping her large family up and running.

The Beginning

Three years ago, she took her two boys to watch Bob run the Lincoln marathon.  She saw a picture of her with Bob and the boys and she couldn’t believe that was actually her.  Many thoughts went through her mind, including:

“I don’t like how I look”…

“I didn’t like how I feel”…

“I wanted to look good for my husband (although she knows that he loves whatever size she is)”…

“I want to be healthy.”

The Journey

She didn’t want to wait until a doctor told her she needed to lose weight or until she suffered a heart attack to get into shape, so she made some changes in her life.   She and her family joined Armbrust YMCA and she started attending one class per week.  Shortly after that, she began the FAST program and learned about balancing what went into her body with what went out.  Soon after, she was all in.

Initially weighing in at 236, she upped her classes to 7 days per week.  Alicia found she loved spin class and combined with the FAST Program, she began to see changes in her weight and her body.  Alicia reports it was “liberating” to not have to shop in the fat aisle at the store!

bike-forever

During this time, her husband continued to run.  He and a friend were doing a 5K and asked her to join them.  She and her sister joined the guys and her sister kept pace with her until she completed her very first 5K!  That started a love/hate relationship with running.  To this day she still doesn’t love it, but it is something that she and Bob can do together.

run

Alicia has found continued support from her husband and her sisters, along with various members at the YMCA.  While her weight has fluctuated some, she continues on her journey and is the first to admit that she is not where she wants to be; this is not the end of her journey.

I didn’t ask her what her final goal is, I just shared that she continues to be a motivator for others.  This past weekend, Alicia ran the Lincoln ½ marathon.  Admittedly, this is not something she ever thought she would do and she finished strongly with a 12 ½ minute pace!  Bob ran by her side, supporting and encouraging her the whole way.  She says she is overwhelmed by the number of people who sent her texts and messages encouraging her along her run and didn’t realize how many people were pulling for her!

Giving Back

Ultimately, Alicia wants to give back.  She has invited other Y members to the Color Run with her and she has promised to run at their pace, just has Bob and her sister did for her.  Has she made an impact on her children?  Bob will say she has.   Last week their youngest child was on a workout machine and said:  look daddy, I’m getting healthier, I’m exercising, I’m just like mommy”.

You never know who you may be impacting or who may be observing.  As Alicia has learned, her journey just isn’t about her, but those who are watching and being motivated by her determination.

 

How Do You Fill YOUR Cup?

How Do You Fill YOUR Cup?

by | Nov 11, 2016 | mom, motivation, self-care, Wellness

I see you.

I see what you refuse to acknowledge.  It shows in the puffy dark circles under your eyes and the lack of glimmer in eyes that once sparkled brighter than the stars.  I notice that you don’t smile as quickly as you once did and your step is not as springy as it used to be.  I also notice the hesitation in making eye contact, most likely out of fear that I will talk with you, forcing you to be polite and have a conversation with me. In the time it takes you to look my way, I see all of this.

I recognize the exhaustion and the overwhelming sense of commitment.  You are running on fumes, yet you continue to take on more and more in hopes of bringing everything together.  You say yes so you will not let others down.  You pitch in more so others may do less.  You give and give and give and at this moment, you are running on fumes.  cup-empty

I know, because I have been there.  Working multiple jobs, had an active social life, continued with ongoing education, attempted to fit in time to work out and tried to make time for my husband.  One huge factor is missing, do you know what it was?

Priorities

I didn’t make time for me!  Furthermore, I didn’t fill my cup because I was too busy filling everyone else’s.

The truth is, I didn’t focus on myself.  My cup was empty.  I felt guilty if I took an hour to get my nails done.  Followed by feeling guilty for getting a massage. I felt guilty if I told someone no, I couldn’t attend their event because I felt guilty being away from home.  My metaphorical cup was on fumes and was way past empty, I couldn’t even energize from the sporadic fumes. When I stopped moving, I was utterly exhausted and I would crash hard.  My emotions ran the gamut from being elated and passionate to being pissed off and full of resentment.  The smallest occurrence that deviated out of my control could throw me into a fit of rage.  Well, when you are as tenuous as I used to be, that “minor” event was enough to bring out the fricken beast in me.

I didn’t even like being with myself, I was so unpredictable.  For me, anger surfaces when I feel overwhelmed.  Anger is the easiest feeling for me to identify and work through and it has always been a great defense mechanism for me.  Looking back, it would have been easier to tell someone no, but that would also open the door for me to disappoint or anger them.

What made me change my priorities?

I became a mother.  Becoming a mom forced me to tell others no, as my priorities needed to be at home.  Conversely, that means I need to take care of myself and fill my cup with what makes me happy.  When mama isn’t happy, no one in the house is happy.  Like it or not, I am the one who sets the tone for the day and teaches my boys that they have the power to choose their attitudes.  I need to take the time to refill my energies, my passions, and lead by example.

If you pay attention when you are around children, you will begin to learn again through their eyes.  You will see the wonder in the world and allow your imagination to wander while exploring the dark places of your past that you haven’t visited in decades.  When you are around children, you remember what it is like to ask for what you need and to automatically tune into those needs.

Hungry?  Get a snack.

Tired?  Take a nap.

Energized? Bounce off the walls (lol, I have boys).

Feeling creative? Draw a picture.

See something beautiful?  Share it with others.

Children experience sheer joy at the things adults take for granted every day.  As we grow older, we lose site of that ability and often take for granted the healing and restorative impact of the world around us.  If a child doesn’t want to go to a friends house to play, they simply say no.  If a  child doesn’t want to play a specific game with their friends, they talk through it until they compromise.  Children freely reach for hugs and openly show affection without fear of rejection.

Fill your cup

Fill your cup, my friend.  Don’t allow yourself to get so overwhelmed that you or your glass shatters into a million pieces, making it so much more difficult to refuel.  Go for coffee with a friend, take in a movie, ask for date night, get your nails done, read that book.  I am giving you permission to say NO to more demands and to let go of any guilt in doing so.  You can’t do it all, nor should you.  Go out and fill your cup!