I am success. Not successful, rather, a success.
Isn’t that a bold statement? How dare I put myself out there as being a success? After all, who am I to say that I am more of a success than you are? ME. Seriously, just ME. I am… Click To Tweet I can choose to dwell on them or I can learn from those obstacles and make different choices in the here and now.
Let’s talk about the word success.
Dictionary.com defines success as “the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one’s goals”. If I honestly look back on my life and the goals I have achieved, I definitely meet the definition of success. After all, I graduated from high school. Trust me that was a success for being the person who rarely attended and dropped every class possible in order to have more time to “hang out”. Shoot, I even went on to attend college and graduate from grad school.
I think where we get caught up on whether we are successful or not may depend upon how competitive we are. Stay with me here as I explain. For example, if you neighbor purchases a brand new car and you are green with envy and berate yourself for not being able to afford that car, you may feel as though your neighbor is more of a success than you.
How do you know that said neighbor isn’t looking at your lawn and steaming with rage because his lawn looks so neglected next to yours? Perhaps he wonders how you are such a success with your landscaping. You have heard the expression “the grass is greener on the other side” and this is a perfect example of where that came from. You may be thinking your neighbor has money to waste while he is wishing he had more time to work on his lawn.
Here is another cliché…”life isn’t always as you see it”. We all view our world through our experiences and our own perception of reality. Here is also where we need to be careful because our perceived reality may be far from the actual experiences of others. A little friendly competition is good for the soul; however downright jealousy and lusting for something someone else has is self-deceiving as well as self-defeating.
It’s easy to sit back and wallow in self-pity because we are not where we want to be in our life. Here is some free advice. STOP BEING A VICTIM! You are the result of your experiences; however, it is up to you to change your life.
I am a huge fan of Jen Sincero and I love her forthright honesty in her books (I may also have a little girl crush on her, so bear with me as I proclaim her greatness). She is no nonsense and has lived through her own decades of doubt and self-destruction. However, in her book, You are a Badass at Making Money; she spends a great deal of time talking about how we sabotage ourselves when we compare our lives to the lives of others. Ultimately, her message is simple. To achieve success, you have to believe that you are success. I won’t share more of her message, however, I can assure you, it is worth the read!
Self-growth, ongoing education and challenging yourself are all instrumental in moving forward. Our brains fight hard to hold onto our old thoughts and behaviors and I have referred to these as “old tapes“. It is only by challenging those thoughts and behaviors that we will ever leave our comfort zones. One way of doing that is by following people you admire. No, I don’t mean to literally follow them; I mean follow them on social media, read their books, and watch their podcasts.
Another way to practice self-growth is to practice affirmations. Find something positive that you absolutely love and paste it everywhere! Use is as your screensaver and phone screen! Put it on your bathroom mirror in lipstick and use sticky notes to put those affirmations all over your house and car! Keep repeating that affirmation and “fake it till you make it.”
Part of being a success is letting go of anything that holds you back. For many of us, this is difficult as we feel guilty for closing doors on relationships. Imagine this. You are not closing a door, you are no longer allowing a person to control you or have influence over you. That is different than denying the person your company.
As you move forward, others may become uncomfortable. As you step out of your comfort zone, you will have to find others who share your same vision. You are not leaving others behind as much as you are creating a circle of influence to reach your next level. Don’t be selfish and do not be afraid to reach out. The truth is, you most likely have something to offer those around you, even if you don’t believe it yet.
Unfortunately, we are typically the last person to see our gifts and believe in ourselves. When someone compliments you, accept it and file it away in your brain for those moments you are second guessing every decision you make. In conclusion, let go of the negativity and embrace your dreams. At the end of the day, it is up to you to make those dreams a reality.