As I am scrolling through FACEBOOK I see all of these absolutely adorable Valentine’s Boxes for upcoming class parties. Therefore I can’t help but wonder how everyone is getting their kids to participate. Are all of these other kiddos doing this freely? I have to threaten the removal of favorite objects to get my boys to even pretend to care about their Valentine Day boxes.
After literally three days of telling the boys they need to create their boxes, I taped my It Works boxes together and put them on our kitchen island. The next day they were still there. Being proactive, I provided the kids with paper, stickers, colors, markers, letters, and tape. Ten minutes later they were both finished with their Valentines Boxes and five of that was probably spent wrapping the paper around the box.
After encouraging them, coercing them and pleading with them, I finally gave in. Feeling a tad disappointed, I released them from the horror. I let go of the illusion they would be creating masterpieces like all of the other kids in their classes. Without belittling them, I let them decide how their boxes would look. While they made sure to cut holes large enough to receive valentines, the outsides are a tad “interesting”.
Perspective on Valentines Boxes
Looking at their boxes while rolling my eyes to my husband, he reminded me of why these boxes were not important to my kids. “It isn’t a guy holiday,” he said…you can’t make them be interested. (This from the same guy who made sure the kids were included in giving me flowers so they knew how to treat a special woman). Right then, it hit me. This isn’t about me. Their Valentines Boxes are not a reflection of me as a parent any more than my choices are reflections of my own parents.
I was allowing my emotions to interfere with my boy’s priorities. I was letting the fact that I will be a volunteer in their parties influence MY reactions to their choices. Consequently, I admit to feeling a tad embarrassed. How dare I compare my children to others. How incredibly silly is it that I even put pressure on them to participate in something because of how it would reflect upon me?
Since my boys were little, I have encouraged them to make their own choices. These two would learn from those decisions that every choice has a consequence. Some of their choices were amazing while others were definitely learning opportunities. The things that make my boys different from others are the very things that make me love them even more. I had always taught them to be different and now when they were, I wanted to force them back to being like others.
My oldest used to wear a stocking hat during the summer. He was my little Disney Thug and I loved it! My youngest loved to wear cowboy boots everywhere and I thought it was adorable! I embraced their individuality! So why in the world do I care about these Valentines Day boxes? In conclusion, forgive me, boys…lesson learned. However, when it comes to homework and schoolwork, that is a totally different arguargument